The phrase “stiff upper lip” has cropped up in blogs and comments recently. For example, behind the seemingly idyllic 1930s village childhood of my last two posts lay unmentionable death, disease, and hardship. And, all too soon, those children would have to face conflict and events in distant lands. They just got on with life, and made the best they could of it.
I recently came across this BBC archive clip which captures the phrase perfectly. It is 7 minutes long, but I can almost guarantee you will watch spellbound from beginning to end. It is very powerful: an eyewitness account of the loss of the Titanic in 1912.
Frank Prentice was an assistant storekeeper on the ship. As it began to sink, he helped lower and load the lifeboats, and then, when he could do no more, took refuge high on the stern. He jumped into the water at the last moment. On the point of freezing to death, he was fortunate to be pulled into one of the lifeboats.
He was 23 at the time of the disaster. Soon afterwards, he would have had to face the First World War, in which he was awarded the Military Cross as a Major in the Royal Tank Regiment. The film was made in 1979 when he was 90. There is a Wikipedia page.
Stiff upper lip: we will need a lot more of it if the world takes a turn for the worse. Shirkers, moaners, and preening attention-seekers should take note. Unfortunately, they are unlikely to read this.
"Stiff upper lip" is a concept that was sorely lacking during the covid pandemic too. That thought occurred to me almost constantly during all the endless moaning and self-pity which went on about having to stay home for a bit and curtail public activities.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this. I was saddened and a little shocked at the widespread self centred and frankly selfish attitudes I saw.
DeleteI thought people were more scared than anything else, but if you grow up thinking you can have and do anything you want it comes as a disappointment when you finally realise you can't.
DeleteDo you think the young will like Rishi's National Service idea Tasker? Letting them vote at 16 would be far more popular.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how thoroughly it has been thought through. Volunteering in the NHS and charities raises safeguarding issues, for example. It was said that the forces would only have to take those suitable. I don't want to do a disservice to young people, but what would happen to those not suited to very much? How would it all be managed, controlled and validated? How would those in higher education fit it in with their coursework and the paid employment that has become essential for so many? And as you are probably wondering, having brought up the issue here, how many would have the stiff upper lip to do it without whinging?
DeleteI am far more cynical Tasker and think that the Tories are trying any way they can be voted out by coming up with policies that are unpopular to the young in particular. National Service would cost two and a half billion pounds to implement.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter and her boyfriend, both in their mid-twenties, were incredulous when they heard about it. But they were never going to vote for them. Maybe it helps the Conservatives keep hold of those who might.
DeleteDear Tasker, such a brave man, Frank Prentice!
ReplyDeleteWhen I heard about his wonderful behaviour, I asked myself whether we find this courage and selflessness nowadays.
Sometimes we might, I am an optimist - but honestly I see even very tiny signs of egoism: in the underground teenagers often remain sitting when very old people come in - I (and I am a fit "oldie" ) stand up for them - and then some follow - but not always - others stare on their cell-phone)
It captures the 'keep calm and carry on' mentality, especially when he says he didn't want to die but did not see how he could live. I thing there have been recent disasters where people have shown selfless bravery, but the cynic in me imagine some posting pictures online saying OMG Look at me I'm in a lifeboat wearing a life jacket.
DeleteI do understand.
DeleteReal modesty might look more reserved. When my father saved in Bremen a man who was drowning, the city-state Bremen wanted to decorate my father with a medal. He refused with the words "It goes without saying to save a life, no need for a reward."
(I would have taken the medal...)
What an amazing man to listen to. There was no such thing in those days of PTSD but amazing that he survived and seemed relatively composed about it (apart from the nightmares). My daughter loves the film Titanic, so i have sent that interview to her.
ReplyDeleteHe is astonishing. It brought me to tears. The only ones who got treatment were upper-class people like Wilfred Owen and Siegfried Sassoon in WW1. I like the start of James Cameron's film which shows how it was to board a Transatlantic liner in 1912, but usually I turn it off after the line "Where's Sven?"
DeleteSome people are real heroes. We need all the heroes we can get.
ReplyDeleteI suspect Frank Prentice would have said he was only doing what was expected in the situation he found himself, and that anyone else would have done the same. He was lucky to survive - the two encounters with Mrs. Clarke are very moving - but I feel sure there were many other similar heroes in the crew who did not survive.
DeleteI read a book about the sinking of the Titanic when I was a teenager. I wondered it I could listen to a first hand account of that horror, but I did, and am glad I did. What an exceptional man. Reminded me of my father, my uncle, my brother, all the Vietnam vets I know. They all were/are tight lipped about their service in war.
ReplyDeleteI agree it's not easy to watch, but very rewarding when you do.
DeleteThere were several in my family too who never drew attention either to themselves or what they went through.
I do believe that there was PTSD in those days. It was just called 'shell shock' (in the case of the war). In other cases, you just heard the vague 's/he was never the same afterwards'.
ReplyDeleteBut what is different is that there was no real alternative, no counselling, no treatment. You simply got on with it. I remember reading about Pat's husband and his experiences as a POW in a Japanese internment camp. He came back from that, and he returned to his quiet life, and that was simply that.
So many examples of quiet heroes and you are absolutely right. We would do well to study the example that they have set for us.
Comment above mentions that the upper classes were sometimes treated for shell shock, such as the poet Wilfred Owen in a hospital in Edinburgh. Ordinary people were left to bear the consequences on their own. There were and still are some truly awful experiences.
DeleteMy maternal grandfather was traumatised from WWII. After he'd been released from being a Russian POW, he walked home with a few other men all the way from behind the Ural mountains, only occasionally getting a short ride on a farmer's cart. He returned to a wife he had not seen in years, to a little son who couldn't remember him and to a baby daughter that had been born while he was in Russia. He also returned to work and provide for his family, but he took to drink and never spent another day without having consumed at least a bottle of wine all by himself. He still was a wonderful granddad, and it was only as young adults that my sister and I understood what was the matter with him.
ReplyDeleteYou leave me wanting to know more about him and his story. It sounds like he made the best of things he could. I think it must also have helped in the past that for most people life was less pressured than today.
DeleteMy Mum wrote aboutnher father here:
Deletehttps://librarianwithsecrets.blogspot.com/2020/12/guest-post-by-my-mum-my-father-my-hero.html
I see that I read and commented, and remember some parts of it, and wondered why what you said in your comment seemed new, but I see now on looking again that your mum said little about the wartime experiences. He was very capable.
DeleteFrank Prentice went back to working on ships after the disaster of the Titanic. A very brave act. I am not sure that 'stiff upper lip' has a validity in this time because time has moved on. But bravery is still with us, whether it be the coast guards or mountain rescuers.
ReplyDeleteI imagine it was his job so he faced either returning or poverty. It must have been hard when, as it says on the Wiki page, he was on a ship that picked up Titanic wreckage soon afterwards.
DeleteBrave man, doing his duty, like so many other, unsung heroes.
ReplyDeleteDuty is probably all they thought they were doing, not realising how extraordinary it would appear afterwards.
DeleteIt was me who used the phrase stiff upper lip in a reply to your comment a couple of days ago.
ReplyDeleteIt was Rachel. Thank you. It is what reminded me of the BBC film.
DeleteAs a shirking, moaning and preening attention seeker I want you to know that I did read this blogpost. Frank Prentice's story was humbling to hear and what a lovely face he had - such a twinkle in his eyes.
ReplyDeleteWas it twinkle or tears?
DeleteI would not have thought of you as a preener. You need to try harder.
As I was out walking around yesterday, past cafes full of people sitting in the sun and having coffee and beers, I thought, "I wonder if all these people know how good they have it?" It's easy to forget, amid all our everyday routine worries.
ReplyDeleteWhen, years ago, futurologists predicted automation would bring more leisure, they didn't think it would mean sitting in cafes "working from home". We do indeed have it good. I don't feel very optimistic that it will last. Hope I am wrong, because some will have difficulty in adapting.
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